Radical Return Out October 6, 2026

Memoir · Plate index

Artwork from Radical Return.

The drawings, paintings, tattoos, photographs, and AI dreams that move through the book assembled here in narrative order. A few were made decades ago. Most arrived in the years of writing.

35 plates Drawing · Painting · Tattoo · Photography · AI

Seeing Spirit or Encounter — The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu — PL. 00Seeing Spirit or Encounter — The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu

Opening 2 plates

After Psilocybin: What I Saw When Grief Looked Back — Pl. 01After Psilocybin: What I Saw When Grief Looked Back

The Dream Purse: Too Many Glue Sticks — Pl. 02The Dream Purse: Too Many Glue Sticks

Ayahuasca 3 plates

Before Ayahuasca: Apprehension at the Threshold — Pl. 03Before Ayahuasca: Apprehension at the Threshold

After Ayahuasca: Oddly rested, in awe and bewilderment — Pl. 04After Ayahuasca: Oddly rested, in awe and bewilderment

The author, Natalie, at Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu — Pl. 05The author, Natalie, at Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu

Bloodroot Retreat Part I 1 plate

The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu — Pl. 06The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu

Cover Up 7 plates

Where it Started — Why do you have plankton on your butt? — Pl. 07Where it Started — Why do you have plankton on your butt?

The Body Rewrites — A little larger cover up than I imagined — Pl. 08The Body Rewrites — A little larger cover up than I imagined

Before the Pain — The Exceptional Bryan Gutierrez (@bryan.gee) — Pl. 09Before the Pain — The Exceptional Bryan Gutierrez (@bryan.gee)

Early Lines — Light shading of Panther and peonies — Pl. 10Early Lines — Light shading of Panther and peonies

The Guardian Appears — Dark shading of Panther and leaves — Pl. 11The Guardian Appears — Dark shading of Panther and leaves

While the Ink Is Still Tender — Shading complete — Pl. 12While the Ink Is Still Tender — Shading complete

Protection in Bloom — Finished tattoo, swollen back — Pl. 13Protection in Bloom — Finished tattoo, swollen back

Bloodroot Retreat Part II 5 plates

Untitled (Batik). Indiana University Art Camp, 1980. — Pl. 14Untitled (Batik). Indiana University Art Camp, 1980.

The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu — Pl. 15The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu

The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu — Pl. 16The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu

The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu — Pl. 17The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu

The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu — Pl. 18The author, Bloodroot Retreat, Massachusetts, 2024. Photo: Rachel Liu

Three Gifts 3 plates

The First Gift: Noticing — Tea offered when I noticed he had stopped drinking coffee — Pl. 19The First Gift: Noticing — Tea offered when I noticed he had stopped drinking coffee

The Second Gift: Fury, Redirected — Given after he asked me to remove my Fluevogs on a snowy day — Pl. 20The Second Gift: Fury, Redirected — Given after he asked me to remove my Fluevogs on a snowy day

The Third Gift: Settling In — Mexican folk art talavera bulldog — Pl. 21The Third Gift: Settling In — Mexican folk art talavera bulldog

Abby's Nails 2 plates

Abby's nails — Pl. 22Abby's nails

Abby's nails glowing — Pl. 23Abby's nails glowing

Visitations 2 plates

Lunar Butterfly Pearls — AI representation of my termination ketamine session — Pl. 24Lunar Butterfly Pearls — AI representation of my termination ketamine session

My Analyst's Visitor — AI-generated representation — Pl. 25My Analyst's Visitor — AI-generated representation

What Remained | A Center Forms 2 plates

Termination: What Remained — Pl. 26Termination: What Remained

A Center Forms — Solo MDMA Art Integration — Pl. 27A Center Forms — Solo MDMA Art Integration

Group Work 6 plates

What Would Not Quiet — Meditation Retreat — Pl. 28What Would Not Quiet — Meditation Retreat

What Asked to Be Held — 3-Day MDMA Constellation Group — Pl. 29What Asked to Be Held — 3-Day MDMA Constellation Group

The Map — 4-Day Group Ketamine Retreat — Pl. 30The Map — 4-Day Group Ketamine Retreat

Feathers & Fault Lines — 4-Day Group Ketamine Retreat — Pl. 31Feathers & Fault Lines — 4-Day Group Ketamine Retreat

X Marks the Spot — 4-Day Ketamine Retreat — Pl. 32X Marks the Spot — 4-Day Ketamine Retreat

Dancing with the Shadow — Holotropic Breathwork Workshop — Pl. 33Dancing with the Shadow — Holotropic Breathwork Workshop

Closing 1 plate

Just Beau — Pl. 34Just Beau

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